This post is going to be a ramble of sorts with lots of football and card game metaphors that just spring to my mind. This is what happens when I drink some wine and sit behind my computer at 10:30 on a Saturday night when I should really be doing something more productive but instead, I am doing the exact opposite while broadway hits play in the background just writing along. So, grab your wine glass and enjoy the random wine induced blog post that is about to ensue.
I have learned that sometimes you are dealt a hand of cards and have to figure out to play them with the best poker face that you can put on. I have felt that the last few months of my life have been one joke round of poker that God dealt to me to see how I can make it into a winning hand. I say that because I went from thinking I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do in life to questioning every decision I have made the past year and a half. I made a career change that I thought would be beneficial to me and goals in life but it hasn’t really turned out to be that in the slightest. It’s kind of like when you are thinking you have the winning hand in Texas Hold’em but in reality it seems that everyone around you has a royal flush with the same suit. It sucks seeing everyone around me looking like they just won the jackpot and you feel like you have gone all in one too many times and have broke the bank. It’s not fair, but that is when I realize that life isn’t fair and who am I judge my life on what someone else’s appears to be on the outside? My life is unique, just like a random hand of cards. I need to make the best out of it no matter what because there is someone out there somewhere that has been dealt a worse hand than me.
(this is where the sport reference starts…)
I have felt like I am playing football and my team has been 1st and goal so many times in my life, that I figured that I would just run it up the middle and score that touchdown like it was the easiest thing to do. When in reality I am that kicker trying to put their team on the board with a field goal attempt from 56-yards out. It’s hard. Sometimes its easy to make other times, it is impossible. Sometimes decisions are easy to make and others, I feel like I am making the BIGGEST life altering decision that I could ever make. Do I go for the field goal or do I try to convert the 3rd and long to a first down and keep trucking along? Sometimes it pays off to take the risk and get that first down and see where you go from there. The easy thing in life, is to remember (for me at least) that I am not in control of my life. There is someone out there that has the most amazing plan for me and He is going to make sure that I get that field goal, and that touchdown, and win that game. He is going to make sure I get that victory but not before making me earn it and show Him that I am fighting his fight to the best of my ability.
For the past 9 months I have felt like I have been trying to throw that Hail Mary pass only to miss my intended target or it get intercepted . I have been sacked more times than I can honestly count. I have thought about giving up and throwing in the towel numerous times, but coach keeps putting me back out to prove my worth and I might not be now, but I will be SO glad for that in the future. I know that my scoring drive is right around the corner and I honestly feel that I might be getting there sooner than I think. I FINALLY have a solid game plan that if everything works out like it I have it planned, then I will be all set. When that happens, I will finally be able to do my touchdown dance and take my team to Disney World (cliche Super Bowl catchline)!
I can’t wait to show my touchdown dance and celebrate a major victory that is so needed. Until then, I will keep trying to throw that Hail Mary, try to convert that 3rd down, go for it at 1st and goal, and nail that 56-yard field goal like it was NOTHING!
Okay, I am done with the football references and poker references. The wine glass is empty and my bed is calling my name.